Most groups love to say they want change.
Families say they want healing.
Teams say they want innovation.
Friend groups say they want honesty.
Organizations say they want transparency, agility, transformation.
On paper, the desire looks aligned.
But as soon as the real tensions—the actual edges of change—begin to surface, something predictable happens:
The nervous systems of the individuals in the group activate. And the group narrative edits itself.
Suddenly:
-
“We want innovation” becomes
“but nothing can get disrupted.” -
“We want honest conversation” becomes
“but not about the uncomfortable parts.” -
“We want accountability” becomes
“but only for other people.” -
“We want speed and agility” becomes
“but don’t change anything that affects my routines.”
This isn’t hypocrisy.
It’s physiology.
The stated desire is aspirational.
The realized behavior is regulated.
Every group’s trajectory is constrained by:
- the nervous-system capacity of its members, and
- the reflexes those nervous systems trigger under pressure.
We can claim we want change—but what actually gets to happen is whatever our collective regulation can tolerate without tipping into panic, avoidance, or narrative revision.
This is why inspiration alone doesn’t move reality.
This is why story alone doesn’t create change.
Story can point to a possibility.
But the nervous system has to allow it.
And this is the part nearly every change-management framework—including Agile—sidesteps.
Most psychological frameworks sidestep it too.
They treat change like a communication issue, a planning issue, a motivation issue, a stakeholder issue, a “mindset” issue.
When the real bottleneck has always been the energetic regulation of the group system.
If we’re satisfied with ideas making it through by chance—and then retroactively crediting whatever convenient, Jedi hand-wavy correlation fits the story—we can keep doing exactly what we’re doing.
But if there are people reading this who want:
- a more sure-footed
- energetically engineered
- integrity-aligned
- higher-probability-of-success
approach to change becoming real…
Then I’d love to hear from you.
What’s resonating?
What repels?
What edges and stuck points are you seeing in the circles that matter to you?
Because until we work at the level of nervous-system capacity and reflex, all our stated desires are just drafts—
and our narratives will keep editing themselves the moment reality approaches.
⛩️🌿
