In the garden of life, each of us tends to our own plot, nurturing the seeds of potential we’ve planted. My journey to claim the red belt in Mindset Dojo has been akin to cultivating a new section of this garden — planting principles and practices meant to help me thrive.
Planting the Seeds: The Principles
With each principle — reconnecting with purpose under pressure, intelligent conflict, emotional flow, and intentional repetition — I planted seeds in the soil of my mind. These principles became the foundation of my growth, each representing a vital element necessary for development.
At first, like learning to ride a bicycle, I stumbled, unsure of how to balance these new ideas in the practical world. But with each fall, I gained a deeper understanding, learning the patience and resilience needed for true growth.
Nurturing Growth: The Circle as a Space for Learning
Leading circles in the Mindset Dojo felt like tending to a shared garden. The space I created wasn’t just for my own growth but for others as well. Sitting at the center of the circle, I could tune into various perspectives, significantly enhancing my empathy. This empathy extended beyond the dojo into my personal relationships, helping me engage in more constructive and intelligent conflict with my former spouse, friends, children, and family. Conflicts that once seemed insurmountable became opportunities for growth, leading to deeper understanding and resolution.
A Shift in Perspective: Conflict as a Koan
One of the most profound shifts I experienced during this journey was in how I view conflict. I began to see conflict as a Koan — a riddle or puzzle in Zen practice meant to provoke deep reflection and insight. The goal isn’t to “solve” the conflict in the traditional sense, but to understand what it is teaching me. I’ve realized that I’ve learned a good lesson once blame and judgment have been removed from my word tracks. Previously, I relied on others to stay engaged in the conversation to resolve conflicts, which created an unhealthy attachment and dependency. I now recognize that others may not always be able to meet these expectations, even if they intend to.
Weeding the Garden: Overcoming Challenges
Like any gardener, I faced challenges. The Spiral Dynamics model, for instance, felt overly prescriptive at times, trying to categorize the complexity of human behavior. I wrestled with how to apply it effectively but found ways to use it without letting it limit my understanding. Similarly, the Mini-FEBI (Focus Energy Balance Indicator) awareness exercise didn’t seem deep enough to anchor the growth I needed, prompting me to explore more robust tools. As I complete my certification in FEBI later this year, I anticipate introducing the full assessment into the Mindset Dojo curriculum, making the experience deeper and more meaningful.
Harvesting the Fruits: Personal Development
As my understanding deepened, I began to see the benefits manifesting in my life. The Zen Leader’s “10 Essential Flips” became tools for navigating challenges, whether it was shifting from control to connection or from driving results to attracting the future. These insights not only improved my personal relationships but also supported my transition from software development to personal development.
My mission, guided by my North Star, is to inspire people to create their fullest potential. The internal work done in the circles has started to show externally, helping me connect others with personal development experiences that align with their needs.
Looking to the Future: A New Phase
As I pass on the leadership of the circle to another member, I prepare for the next phase — embodying the principles of the black belt. What does it mean to be a Mindset Black Belt? This question now guides me, like a North Star shining over my path, helping me envision my unique expression of these principles.
Moving forward, I’m excited to explore how these parallel paths — personal growth, leadership, and connection — will continue to converge. This journey is not just about tending to my own garden but helping others cultivate theirs, creating a space where growth and flourishing can happen for everyone involved.
This reflection marks the transition from one phase of growth to another as I continue to nurture my garden, guided by the principles I’ve learned and the vision I hold for the future.
⛩️🌿
